Friday, 5 August 2016

The Walking.... Oops copyright issues

Once a big world changing event like this comes to pass, you'd expect people like us to be the first ones to go. The first ones to drop. But we didn't. Should I say that with a Hurray? Should I be happy? Unless I am talking to a 30th century ultra intelligent cockroach. Are you?

If you have thought that the wise and cool minded cop Rick or the oh so ruggedly handsome crossbow yielding hunk named Daryl to be the ones still standing, I am happy to break it to you that you are gleefully wrong. So, so wrong. Infact I would go as far as to say that they were the first ones to grace us with their half eaten limbs. Dangling, almost falling off, torn up faces. Tattered and stinking clothes.

Why? You ask. That's simple. Because when shit is going down you don't be wise. You don't hatch plans. You don't be brave. You don't save people. You just get your shit together. Or try to do so. And run. Run like hell. Because the shit that's going down ain't gonna wait for your wily ass to come up with an ingenious plan to save the world. It's gonna rain down on you. Gobble you up. And spit you up like a half cooked, one year old cold turkey.

With that we come to the Enlightenment Tree. What does it say? Nothing much. That's right. Trees don't talk. They sit their. Be dumb like. Breathe in. Breathe out. And look at them. They ain't dead. So are we. That's how we survived. Playing cold turkey. Err... Not the one I mentioned earlier though.

So, here we are. We are alive. We are happy. There are dead walking the streets. Then why the fuck am i wasting your time.

Hmm. Maybe because it gets a tad too boring when all you do through the entire day is looking out the window and be greeted by the occasional herd of zo..  Wait. Are we gonna use the z word? Am I going to face copyright issues for this. Well, you know the dead walking the earth is enough of a trouble, I don't want to deal with some legal issues, just because I was getting bored.

Anyways. So it's not always this boring. There are some exciting days.

No.... Not fighting the eye patched governor. If you haven't figured it out yet. You should have payed more attention. This is India. We don't have the budget for Rocket Launchers and Machine Guns hidden in someone's basement just because he thought that zom...youknowwhatfuckcopyrights.... Zombie Apocalypse might actually turn out to be an issue. And also the fact that we don't have a basement. We never have a basement. It's like stripping us off of our birth right from household hauntings. They always start at the basement. They almost always.

The only excitement we get when we watch some new people. Healthy people trying to run from a horde. Or just looking for something. Maybe shouting for help. (Note: Shouting for help in a zombie apocalypse is a clichéd way to die. But then again, after so many years of art and literature, every form of death is.) And the almost deads (see how I avoid the z word, I am a pro) surrounding them. And then we trying our best to save them. Wait. What the f...? No. We watched. We watched them torn into pieces. Crying endlessly for help.

Ok. Go ahead. Call us sick. To that I'd say, "No harm done." We all are already sick. We are immortal. Not the legendary kind. Not like Hawk man or Hawk girl either. Our rebirth is like getting coked up mouthful and waking up with an incredible case of human rabies. Yeah we are all sick. Not with the sexy sounding T-virus. I guess the doctors didn't come up with a name. I know they didn't come up with a cure. They were too late. They were........ too dead. Or they listened to Mark Watney's claim and left for Mars. Well hey, thanks to Elon, space travel is cheap now. Only in the few million dollar mark. (Quick tip: When common people like us read a news about an incredible thing getting cheap, he thinks it's a waste of space, better filled by the boy next gulley who committed suicide by slitting his wrist with a ball point pen. A frigging ball point pen. Yes, very juicy stuff. Juicy. Indeed. )

The reason I think that they didn't end up to be the bunch of happy sausage sellers from a space opera of the future and rather an unfortunate bunch in a George Romero flick is because of the basic construction of a highly secure, highly maintained facility. They just beg to fail. A mistake by the fat assed, all day burger munching, googly eyed, idiot who fails to check whether the electric fence is working or not after the daily power reset. Then becomes the first nice meal for the deadies. Then the real carnage begins. Oh. Such beauty. Much munching and crunching. They don't need Prisma to make an art. They do them inherently. And that too in galore. A whole museum worth of work done in a matter of hours.

As they move from room to room. Filled with the brightest minds. And the tastiest of brains. It's a buffet they say. No. They gnarl. Weren't these minds about to break the fourth dimension and venture into subjects unknown. Instead they end up breaking their fingers. Hmm. Fingers lickin good. Legs lickin good. Intestines lickin good. Testes lickin good. Now I can go on like this. Or you can imagine the loud screams and munching slowly and gently fading into the dark while the camera zooms out, rotates 180 degrees and it too runs like hell.

So, a long long time ago and in a galaxy far far away from the Andromeda galaxy in this God forsaken planet called Earth a person simply named "me" (and conveniently so) was talking about us being sick. Downright cruel. But we weren't like the Patels across the street. They took 8 people in. That's 8 plus 3 meat loafs for the hungry deads. Mr. Patel, Mrs. Patel and Jr. Patel, the plus 3s. There is ofcourse strength in numbers. There is also an increasing amount of idiocy too. Call it cloudy with a chance of love-bites. Call them The Three Musketeers and their eight wheels of doom.

So, I proved my point. We weren't going anywhere. We literally weren't going anywhere. We were there. Day in day out. Night after night. Looking through the thing that was actually a window but we used it like a TV set. Everything outside was a slow running, mostly downright boring, TV show. You drag a plot for too long, it looses it's charm. Such is the world through that window. The Apocalypse. The finale. It wasn't the blockbuster we hoped it to be. More like the detached twitching tail of a barely escaped lizard.

The Patels were generous people. We brought two kids in too. A boy and a girl. About the ripe age of eleven. Now they are all grown. All muscular. All strong. Perfect scavengers. I mean, "come on" . I did the math and I was right (if I am not then that would have been a complete and utter of my degree) we would loose food eventually and we have to scavenge for food and other stuffs. And here they are perfect scavenging machines. They don't mind either. They owe us. Did you really think us to be the Charity type? And we all know there ain't no charity that didn't come with a small asterisk hidden somewhere like the one in the ten second quiz "FIND THE HIDDEN BAMBOO-IN-YOUR-ASS PICTURE" you would randomly find while scrolling through your Facebook feed. No. Not single one of them. Agenda was the cause. Charity was the affect. Not even when the world was seemingly in one piece. We were already broken. Us, we knew it. But those wise and brave people, they had hope, blinding hope. They used to be happy. In this new world they are as usual happy. Happy meals.

Now. Take rest for a minute. Or a couple if you have to escape from a zombie attack.

Blah. Blah. Blah. Ya. That's probably what you are thinking of me. Throwing out shits like a pig infected with dysentery. But I don't know what it looks to be a pig infected with dysentery. Nothing elegant I assume.

But tell me don't you feel the mess we are in. This world slowly growing inside your chest. Waiting to burst out like a Xenomorph (that alien that scared the shit out of every 90's kid) . But these days things are so much more real. They don't even know what it feels like to be scared shitless sitting in that dark room with a crowd of unknown people and watching the scenes roll with sound effects that are enough to stop your heart beat. These they don't feel that fake excitement. Thay safe excitement. Everything is real. Everything is way too real. Kids these days. They know how their parents taste. Whether their big brother was more fulfilling that their younger sister?

Happy endings. The one we need but the one we don't deserve. Now, I don't know who you are or what you are expecting from this story. But let me tell you, this is very much the story I need, but certainly not the one I deserve. I need to tell you this story because it's our age old itching to leave behind something. Anything. Something that will remind others of us and the lives we led. Be it a brave one like Superman, Batman, Spiderman. (If you are a hot lady from Venus, I'm going to take this chance to alter history, hope she doesn't know how to read the subtext) or be it a selfish, worthless one like mine.

Thus, writing a story is a very good way of doing so. Unless someone brought back Hitler, somehow, and he has taken to his old habits again, yes, that of burning books, as if people didn't burn bright enough. Then sadly, no one's reading this. And i wasted my ink for the demons. Well, that's where I'm going. Maybe the same fate awaits my belongings. Hope the lodging is better now, since they recently encroached a vast new territory. Hell probably is a lot more spacious now.

(Note: If this story ends abruptly or maybe in a well ordered fashion with likely no huge reveals except that my best friend is currently suffering from a seizure after eating I-don't-know-what and we soon might have to return him to the world of the undead, I think it's safe to presume that none of that matters. Either way we end up dead.)

This is the Swan Song. The final chapter. What happened to our planet? What happened to us? (Seriously, who cares. Let's look at the bigger picture.) You know what happened to our planet. If you are reading this. You may have read a lot more of such bullshits. Maybe written more elegantly. Ya. It's like when you tell your kid that God gave him to you. And not that you fucked the hell out of your wife / husband inside the taxi while sweating profusely like a pig and squealing like a dog with pure ecstasy. Ya. That looks elegant. Doesn't it?

You. You know how it ends. Good. Bad. Most probably bad. Or worse. Even more likely. Either way, you know. You know that we never choose our end. It's our end that chooses us. But, since I don't know who you are, your reality is just but a choice to me. It's a choice, what I want to believe. And i hope you believe that I believed your choice to be wise. You hope that I believed you to be wise. You can only hope so much from such a hopeless species. And with that, I rest my case.

Wednesday, 3 August 2016

A Headache

It's stuck there. It has been there for the last few days. It's like a cluster of something. Anything. It's there. It's tangible but it doesn't have a definitive form yet.

She moved out yesterday. She took the kids with her. All the money in the world and those wily looking lawyers couldn't stop her from taking them away from me.

I haven't worked in a few months. But even then she knew that I wasn't mentally present with them. I was lost in thoughts most of the time. I acted strangely. Maybe too strangely at times. No wonder she started hating me. She once said that she feared me sometimes and the kids feel the same way sometimes. But I wondered how that can be possible. I haven't worked in a while. How can that be?

Now I am all alone. I have this horror of a house echoing with the noise of my empty soul. And this headache has been eating on me for the last few days.

She gave me the ultimate freedom. I have all the loneliness I need to get to work. To start writing again. But I cannot.

That formless cluster I mentioned earlier, it's pitch black. It's a pulsing cloud of utter blackness.

The headache, it seems to have worsen.

The sun seems to go down quickly today. I guess the invitation is quite appealing. "The night welcomes me to my desk."

Walking up the stairs, I can see the last picture of John and Todd she left with me. "How cruel! They were my creations too. Were they not?"

"Ah! The room. She looks happy. Did she always look this happy? " The last time I remember her to be like this was before Katie moved in with me. Do I feel happy too?

The desk in the corner is shrouded in darkness. Everything else. The chair. The sofa. The book shelf. The mirror. The wine box. Everything looks incredibly still and lifeless. Just the way they should be. Or maybe breathlessly waiting for the climax.

Turning the switch near my desk on, the light revolted against the emptiness that I've been breeding for years. It fueled the headache even further. And from there onwards every second is just getting worse.

A hammer hitting a nail. A bat hitting a ball. A drill drilling a hole. A chopper chopping meat. Thick dark meat. Sharp teeth tearing strong and tough flesh.

"Stop. Just stop. I don't know anything anymore. It's a cruel choice. Why? Why do I feel this away? It's been so many years. Why can't I control it? "

The headache is becoming unbearable and I fell on the floor. With a ripping sound and an unfathomable pain, I can feel my skull cracking open. And blood starts to oozing out of those crevices.

The headache, it's slowly subsiding. I can feel it. That black formless cluster, it's taking form. As my blood is dripping onto the floor, I can see it form into letters. Then letters into words. Each word growing and taking shape into horrible monsters. Such unimaginable creatures. One. Two. Three. Ten. Fifteen. Each one of them more beautifully grotesque than the last one. I can feel the pain. I feel joy.
Do I even know? Should I even care?

My headache is slowly but gradually vanishing into a cold and chilling sensation. By now I know I have lost all control over my body. Except my eyes. I can still see. I can see my despicable creations staring back at me. Their collective eyes fixed at me. Blinkless and emotionless.

I remember the last words my wife said to me today, when she cleared out her last few belongings. "I hope you could enjoy the rest of your life with your creations. There will be no more of us to take you away from them." Maybe they listened to her.

Twenty-five. Thirty. As my eye sight is slowly fading out, I can see the last one taking form. This one is different. It doesn't look ugly or hideous. It looks like me!

Sunday, 31 July 2016

A CONSTRUCT

ACT I

The strong ocean breeze was hitting our face. She kept looking at me with fear on her eyes. Fear and confusion. While everyone around us were running. And screaming. But she wasn't. She couldn't believe it, but she knew it.

=================================

The first time I met her, she was sitting on the same coach with us, on our way to Puri. I still remember the first time she looked at me. That innocent smile an infant would put when it would look at it's mother. It might sound strange. But that's what I felt. But that wasn't all that i felt. I know it's clichéd by now, but it did feel like as if someone robbed me of my fantasies and conjured her up of flesh and bone and those stolen vial of imagination.

We didn't talk that day though. I stared at her at times. She did too. We both knew someone had to approach but neither dared to. She felt like a painting on the water, if I touched her she would vanish.

The train eventually stopped. And as I was leaving the train. She tugged my shirt a bit. Now, everyone reading this knows what array of conversation can happen after that. Yes, we did introduce ourselves. And we did exchange numbers. Apart from that and the usual questions about each other, nothing significant happened.

These situations. It has been a staple for romantic comedies and romantic stories for generations. But what is to be noticed here is that, this being reality, could have easily ended up being those other stories that aren't shown on movies because they simple won't sell. She could have easily been that one girl I met in a train, exchanged numbers, never met again, life caught up and I forgot her. But fate, my friend, had a different plan. But then again, fate had no choice in this regard. (More on that later)

She boarded the same hotel that we did. And when she came know that, I could see the happiness on her cheeks. If it wasn't for her, I would never known that anyone could feel like that for me. Feel so strongly for me and that too without knowing much of anything. But thanks to that coincidence, which it clearly wasn't, we actually came to know each other a bit better by that night. Oh yes. Why it wasn't a coincidence? You wouldn't believe me anyway. I'll save that answer for later. When you are ready.

Now every good thing ends. It has to. It really has to. So did the journey. We returned. We both went different ways. But never lost contact. We did meet each other a couple of times. By this point, we knew what we are meant for. We knew what meant to each other. And by this point, the reader knows where the story is going. But seriously, is your life so full of excitement that you are going to leave this short short story in the middle of it. Come on. Be game. Bear with me a little while longer.

ACT II

The beach was empty by now. Anger. Any other emotions were long gone. She was plain and bluntly angry. A curtain of pure hatred came down upon her face. The innocence that once laid it's eyes on me is nowhere to be found. I guess that was expected. It wasn't her fault after all. It was simply, meant to be.

=================================

Yes. You guessed it right. We were madly in love and this could have not ended in any other way than marriage. It was one of the greatest thing I felt. It felt like I was finally whole.

Do you remember the first time you bought a Batman comics? Or any comics for that matter. If you do. You know that you loved it probably. You still love it. Although it's all torn up and dusty. But you still love it. You don't read it anymore. But you won't be throwing it away either. You love it. In fact if someone would take it away from you would feel really, really sad. The same is with many relations. (I didn't say all. So don't murder me in a dark alley) The spark doesn't always remain as strong as it was in the beginning. It dims down. It doesn't die. But it does dim down.

Life eventually gets boring. The degree boredom just keeps rising by arithmetic progression. And she said, "Let's go to Puri again." Did you see that coming? Come on. You had too. It was that obvious. So we went.

FINAL ACT

The kept growing darker and darker. A never ending increment in its shade of darkness. I was sorry. She was furious. She said, " You said you love me. You said you would never leave me.......

=================================

" Seriously! ", that is probably your expression. The answer is no. Ofcourse I didn't drag you all the way here to end the story like that. You deserve a happy ending. Shall we continue then.

=================================

"....... I believed you. I loved you. How could you do this?", she swelled up like the ocean behind her.
She screamed, " You said I am special."
I had to speak now. She deserved an explanation. So, I finally spoke, "So was the last 50 of them. They were all special to me. Just the way you are. And just the way they had to end. So do you. I love you. Just like I loved them. Do you remember how you smiled at me the day you first saw me. Why do you think you smiled that way? " Her questions were getting answered. She knew it. But she kept listening. "That is right. You are the child. I am your creator. You are my construct. You kept running into me, not because of some fate. But if you call fate to be God's hand, then you might call it fate. Because I am your God. I created this world. I created you. Just like I created numerous ones before, in my mind. In my stories. But just because a story has started. It also evidently means it has to end. Every story has a purpose. So does yours. Yours was to comfort me. To ease my sense of loneliness for the night. And now that the night is about to end. And everyone is awake. There is no room for such artificial constructs. But I did love you. I created you to be loved by me. But only for this night. Only to be joined by the ones that once took your place. And the endless ones that will in the endlessly many lonely nights to come. I surely hope you could forgive me. But it's time for me to go. The sun will soon wash out your shadow. And that of this world."

Her face was burning. There was no other sign of life around us. Everyone was nearly deconstructed by now. It will end any moment now.

She looked at the yonder wave that was hurting towards her as I walked away slowly.

She said, "They will be waiting. You should know. They will all be waiting. You will end up here very soon. You will always be lonely. "

To that, there was only one thing I could say, "I know. I know."
=============The End=============

Monday, 25 July 2016

Silent Memories

CHARACTERS
Anish: the protagonist, Anita: his wife, Rohit: his son, Sunder: his father

Anish: Honey, I’m home.
[Unlocks the main door]
This was a damn long day.
[Shuts the door]
[Anita is watching TV]
Where is Rohit? Studying upstairs I guess.
[Opens his shoes and socks and puts down his briefcase]
Damn, I’m hungry. Sorry, I couldn’t go to the bazaar today. Today was a very tough meeting. On top of that the clients weren’t completely happy.
[Untying his tie]
You know, it’s quite disheartening when you have put a lot of hard work into something and despite that it doesn’t have the desired result.
[Anita is still watching TV]
Geez, I know it’s time for your favorite TV show. But you could at least say something. Hope there’s something in the fridge for me.
[Opens the fridge]
Ahh, that smell. Is that gajar ka halwa? I am eating this right now.
Hmm. Since you are not scolding me, I would take it as a yes. Better warm it before having this [sniffs it again] awesome halwa.
Honey, you sure know how to brew up magic.
[Opens the Microwave Oven]
There you go.
[Sets the timer]
Wonder what’s Rohit is doing.
[Moves up the stairs]
[Enters Rohit’s room]
Hey, buddy. What are you doing? Hmm. Serious look.
[Approaches Rohit]
Algebra. Well. Do you need help with it?
Looks like you are doing quite fine on your own. Good boy.
[Exits Rohit’s room]
[Moves down the stairs]
Looks like this is done. [Grabs the halwa]
Are you serious? What do they show in those TV shows? Secrets of the universe. Ways to get rich in a minute. Good. Have it your way.
[Moves up to the balcony]
Nice breeze.
[Tummy growls] Ok. Let’s not wait anymore. Hmm. This is as delicious as it smells.
[Looks up at the stars]
It’s so calm up here.
[Looks behind]
Hey. Finally. Is the show over? Looks like you are done with your algebra too.
Do you want to have some halwa? There is still some left. Damn. What’s that foul smell? [A pungent irritating smell pierces his nostrils]
[A thundering sound]
No! [The balcony breaks and falls tumbling on him]
Help. Somebody help.
Rohit? Anita?
[Everything gradually blurs out]
[A multitude of noises fills the background]
Ahh.
[Gains consciousness]
What is happening?
 [Tries to push the rubble over him]
[Sirens approaches]
Help. Please.
[Officers run towards him]
Where are my wife and son? Please tell me that they are okay.
[Officers slowly remove the rubble]
Officers, please. Help them. They are all…….
[Everything blurs out again]

Sunder:       Beta. Are you feeling okay? You got us so much worried. [with tear soaked eyes]
Your mother just cannot deal with this all over again. She is completely heart-broken.
Anish:       Dad! [as he slowly opens his eyes]
Sunder:        Beta. Everything will be fine. The doctor said that you will recover soon.
Anish:           Where is Rohit? Where is Anita? I don’t see them. They must be very worried. They are fine. Aren’t they?
Sunder:        What do you mean? What are you saying son? [his eyes tears up again]
Are you alright?
Anish:           Dad. Where is my wife and son? [his eyes are trembling in fear]
Sunder:        Son. Come to your senses. Don’t you remember that they died last year?
Anish:           What kind of sick joke is this? Tell me where they are. I just saw them a while back. She was watching TV. Just the way she always does when I return home. And Rohit was doing his homework. I fell from the balcony. Tell me where they are? Tell me now.
[Sunder slaps him]
[Nurses rush in]
u

Sunder:         They are dead. You damn moron. They are dead. How dare you say such non sense? How could you put us through such pain again?
Anish:            You are lying to me? Why are you lying? Leave me. Let me go. Let me see them.
Doctor:         Nurses, hold him down.
Sunder:         Don’t you remember the house catching fire? Don’t you remember? How could you forget?
[Nurses die him down]
Anish:        No. No. [he screams in pain and anger]. I was there. I was in the house. I was……
Doctor:        Calm down. You were caught in a bridge collapse.
[Sunder slowly vanishing into a corner]
Nurses bring me the syringe.
Anish:          No, I just saw them. They were happy. I was happy. We were together. We were finally together. Let me go. [his eyes suddenly raging with anger] I was with them. I was finally with them. Why did you save me? Let me go. Let me be……
[his voice slowly fades out as the nurse pulls out the syringe]

Thursday, 5 May 2016

Peeping Through my Window

I see your glaring eyes
Shining in the light of empty dawn.
Looking at the passer bys
Counting down the places you belong.
My heart keeps calling you
Calling by your name I don't know.
As if it's in love with you
A Love that can't, can't get through.

And then you raise your eyes
You look a bit surprised.
But you knew that I'm staring at you
From the minute you arrived.

And everytime i peep through my window
Coz everytime i peep through my soul
I know that you won't be standing there
I know that you won't listen
I know that someone's waiting for you
Someone who's blessed
But everytime i look through my window
I see you
I see you
I see you
Oh oh
I see you.



I see your hairs a mess
The wind keeps turning it around
There's something in your face
Something that never should be found.
I can feel your sadness too
There's something bothering your heart.
It breaks my soul in half.
Knowing that I'll never be a part.

And then you raise your eyes
You don't look at all surprised.
And you knew that I'm staring at you
From the minute you arrived.

And everytime i peep through my window
Coz everytime i peep through my soul
I know that you won't be standing there
I know that you won't listen
I know that someone's waiting for you
Someone who's blessed
But everytime i look through my window
I see you
I see you
I see you
Oh oh
I see you.



I see your glaring eyes
Shining in the light of empty dawn.

Looking at the passer bys
Counting down the places you belong.

Coz everytime i peep through my window
And everytime i peep through my soul.
But everytime i look through my window
I see you
I see you
I see you
Oh oh
I see you

I see you
I see you
I see you
Oh oh
I see you

And i see you
I see you
Oh I see you
Oh oh
I see you.